With a swift swing of the ax, Manchester United have regained their title as the Premier League’s banter club. Stability proved to be a severe allergen at Old Trafford. Just when things seem to be calming down, the club breaks out in hives and hits the self-destruct button.
The news that manager Ruben Amorim has been sacked is not just another entry in the diary of a “meat grinder”. It is conclusive evidence that the Sir Jim Ratcliffe era had the tactical depth of Wayne Rooney’s team talk and the foresight of a man who set a house on fire to fix a leaky roof. Amorim was betrayed, plain and simple. He wasn’t fired because he failed, he was fired because the top guy was playing Football Manager with a broken mouse and a heavy ego.
From the moment Amorim walked through the door with his tactical whiteboard and unwavering dedication to the 3-4-3, we knew there would be trouble. Expecting this Manchester United side to move to a sophisticated wing-back-based system is like expecting Nigel Farage to look good in a bikini. It was never a good fit, looked painful for everyone involved, and frankly it was an affront to public order.
Still, Ratcliffe supported him. And he not only supported him, but watched the club plummet to 15th place, playing football where David Moyes’ approach of seven crosses per minute looked progressive. It was time to act. That was the moment I realized that the experiment had been a failure.
Instead, Sir Jim stood firm and watched the club rot from the comfort of a glittering executive lounge, lovingly funding it by firing every tea lady, receptionist, and anyone who ever asked for milk in their beer.
And then summer came. Amorim has been handed the keys to the vault after surviving a somewhat embarrassing season for Luton Town. £2.5 billion was splurged on players who were specifically headhunted to fit into a system that had not worked for six months.
To be fair, if supporting Amorim was the plan, this was the only sensible course of action. But not if you’re going to let him go with the team in a few months… *checks notes*… sitting in the best position in the league since he arrived.
At the time of writing, United are in 6th place, level on points with Chelsea in 5th place, with only 3 points separating them from the top four. For the first time in the Amorim era, there was a faint flickering light at the end of the tunnel that was not an oncoming train. Pulling the plug now would be as foolish as handing Harry Maguire the captain’s armband again.
This is a level of decision making that is so erratic that Nicholas Jackson looks calm in a one-on-one situation. Ratcliffe has spent foolish money, fired needlessly, and gone back and forth between hare-brained schemes like Wile E. Coyote.
He arrived with the promise of “marginal gains” and the mettle of a British billionaire. Instead, he offered a masterclass on how to get everything wrong at the same time.
He brought in a system manager for a team that couldn’t play the system. He stuck with him when he was objectively in terrible shape and should have been binned. He spent a king’s ransom on “Amorim Players” but ended up firing the chef the moment the ingredients started simmering.
Amorim is not without sin. He’s a guy who saw a burning building and decided the best solution was to throw in more of a 3-4-3. He also fell out with people at a rate that would make Prince Harry proud, and produced more stinkers in management than David Brent.
However, he has been fundamentally betrayed by a hierarchical structure that leaves him unsure of what he wants to be when he grows up. Amorim was appointed a key figure in the boardroom, out of the depths. He was hired as a visionary, kept as a mascot during a crisis, and discarded as a nuisance the moment things started moving forward.
If Ratcliffe is really looking for someone to blame for Old Trafford’s dysfunction, lack of identity and grotesque waste of resources, he need look no further than the dugout. he needs to look in the mirror.
Under the watchful eye of the INEOS Chairman, the Theater of Dreams continues to be the theater of memes. And if that got Amorim kicked out the door, Ratcliffe would come after him.
